latestarter: (Default)
See me, I thought organising a wedding would be a piece of cake - after all what else is it but a fairly straightforward piece of project management? And I've been doing that at work for years.

Um. It's not quite the same when it's your wedding - you have far more invested in it than you probably do in anything work connected, unless you really are sad.

I have found that I have desperately wanted everything to be just right- especially the bits that I don't have any control over. What's worse people always have their own ideas about how things should look, or happen rather than agreeing with what I think.

Everything was OK until about a week ago when this horrible knot suddenly appeared in my stomach and won't go away. I have a list of things to do that, no matter how many things get crossed off, never gets any shorter because I'm always adding other things to it.

I know everything will be OK in the end, it's just getting there that is so stressful.
latestarter: (Default)
I am a member of a wedding forum where (mostly) women discuss all aspects of the process of getting married and planning weddings. Yesterday there was a thread that left me, and probably most other readers and posters utterly gobsmacked. I'm still not entirely sure if it was a troll or not, although I suspect not.

This female wrote a post wherein she stated that she and her man are “DYING!!!” to get married. They've been together for six or seven years, have a child, are heavily in debt and have no spare cash. She has decided she needs at least ten grand to have a decent bash. She spent the rest of the post complaining how meeeean the rest of her extended family were being in not offering to contribute financially to the cost of this extravaganza. She seemed outraged that an aunt had “only” offered to do the flowers when she was expecting her to pay for the reception. I was reminded strongly of Violet Elizabeth Bott threatening to “Thcweam, and thcweam and thcweam” until she got her way. And that dates me if nothing else does!

But this did get me thinking. Am I clear about what I want? Marriage or a wedding? And I think so. My Scots soul recoils in horror at the thought of spending ten grand on a single day. A wedding is a celebration of a marriage, not the whole point, and for me that means celebrating with the people who mean most to me. It doesn't mean with cousin x whom I've met once in forty years. A wedding should be fun, but it's not the most important part of the whole affair. It's what comes after that's important. The female I quote above, doesn't seem to realise this.
latestarter: (rings)
They say that every little girl dreams of her wedding. I suppose I was the exception; I don't recall ever doing so. Floating down the aisle in a big white meringue to meet Prince Charming at the altar was never one of my fantasies. They involved time travel and star ships and interesting stuff like that. When I was older, as I said yesterday, I was determined to be right on and cool and feminist. Getting married didn't quite figure in that equation; it was old hat and so patriarchal it wasn't worth thinking about. Of late years however, I must confess to giving some thought to the sort of thing I would wear, should such an unexpected thing happen (needless to say it didn't involve meringues). However, when my beloved proposed to me a couple of months ago, no one was more surprised than me to find myself surfing wedding websites, and researching the ins and outs of getting married with an almost fanatical devotion.

Indeed, Himself told me (rather sternly I thought) that there is more to marriage than a wedding. Of course there is, but his proposal seems to have unleashed an inner girlyness in me that I never knew was there. It's actually quite fun. I love planning things at the best of times, but planning a wedding is a planner's dream. Or nightmare depending on your point of view :).


latestarter: (Default)
At long last, love

April 2012

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