Marriage or a wedding?
Sep. 19th, 2009 01:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
latestarterI am a member of a wedding forum where (mostly) women discuss all aspects of the process of getting married and planning weddings. Yesterday there was a thread that left me, and probably most other readers and posters utterly gobsmacked. I'm still not entirely sure if it was a troll or not, although I suspect not.
This female wrote a post wherein she stated that she and her man are “DYING!!!” to get married. They've been together for six or seven years, have a child, are heavily in debt and have no spare cash. She has decided she needs at least ten grand to have a decent bash. She spent the rest of the post complaining how meeeean the rest of her extended family were being in not offering to contribute financially to the cost of this extravaganza. She seemed outraged that an aunt had “only” offered to do the flowers when she was expecting her to pay for the reception. I was reminded strongly of Violet Elizabeth Bott threatening to “Thcweam, and thcweam and thcweam” until she got her way. And that dates me if nothing else does!
But this did get me thinking. Am I clear about what I want? Marriage or a wedding? And I think so. My Scots soul recoils in horror at the thought of spending ten grand on a single day. A wedding is a celebration of a marriage, not the whole point, and for me that means celebrating with the people who mean most to me. It doesn't mean with cousin x whom I've met once in forty years. A wedding should be fun, but it's not the most important part of the whole affair. It's what comes after that's important. The female I quote above, doesn't seem to realise this.
This female wrote a post wherein she stated that she and her man are “DYING!!!” to get married. They've been together for six or seven years, have a child, are heavily in debt and have no spare cash. She has decided she needs at least ten grand to have a decent bash. She spent the rest of the post complaining how meeeean the rest of her extended family were being in not offering to contribute financially to the cost of this extravaganza. She seemed outraged that an aunt had “only” offered to do the flowers when she was expecting her to pay for the reception. I was reminded strongly of Violet Elizabeth Bott threatening to “Thcweam, and thcweam and thcweam” until she got her way. And that dates me if nothing else does!
But this did get me thinking. Am I clear about what I want? Marriage or a wedding? And I think so. My Scots soul recoils in horror at the thought of spending ten grand on a single day. A wedding is a celebration of a marriage, not the whole point, and for me that means celebrating with the people who mean most to me. It doesn't mean with cousin x whom I've met once in forty years. A wedding should be fun, but it's not the most important part of the whole affair. It's what comes after that's important. The female I quote above, doesn't seem to realise this.
