At long last, love

I was gratified when I weighed myself on Saturday to discover that I have lost a pound in the last week. It's not much, I know, but it is that small weight loss that will get me to my target safely and sustainably (I hope). There was a horrific story in the paper last week about a girl who lost something like 3 stone in 8 weeks and dropped dead. She had been following some crazy minimal calorie regime. I have read nothing good about that particular diet. Everyone I've seen comment about who has done it has immediately put back nearly or all of the amount they lost. As you would expect. I lost a lot of weight years ago with weight watchers, but that was over a two year period and it took several years more than that to put much of it back. Thankfully, I have never been as heavy again as I was when I started it.

This time I am doing Scottish Slimmers which works along similar principles, but mixing it in with a bit of low GL (which should help the bulge in the middle) and lots of exercise.

It is traditional, when thinking about a wedding for the bride to want to lose weight. I am no different. I have been trying to lose weight for most of this year in any case, but I find the thought of walking down the aisle feeling anything other than great about myself is concentrating my mind marvellously. Quite apart from the fact that the sort of outfit I am thinking about would look horrendous on a fatty, I want my beloved to be stunned when he sees me, but in a good way. :)

I've already lost a stone this year, and I'm taking a lot more exercise than I used to. I'm not so much a comfort eater, but I do like my food. I know I lose weight best with something that is flexible, and gives me sufficient food that I don't wake up in the night thinking about roast chicken or whatever. Filling up with soup is key for me, as is just not buying those things I know are bad for me. This isn't easy for everyone, I know. Keeping a food diary is also a must for me, as is measuring everything. I'm one of those cooks that usually just sloshes in ingredients along the 'that looks about right' principle. That's no use when you're trying to keep track of what you're eating. I know I start to slip off the rails when I stop measuring things.

As for exercise, it doesn't matter what it is so long as you enjoy doing it. I remember reading an article somewhere that said that people just had to accept that exercise is boring and do it like any other chore. I'm sorry but that doesn't work; you need to be motivated to exercise, the prospect of boredom doesn't motivate anybody. It also needs to be convenient. I used to go swimming once a week on the way home from work, as there was a swimming pool just along the road from where I worked. I changed my job and haven't been swimming since. Now I've discovered exercise dvds. I built up slowly, moving from an easy one once or twice a week to much harder ones more frequently. I love it.

So, I know what my big target is, but I also know that it will take a long time for me to get there. In the meantime I've set lots of little targets that should be much closer. Here goes!

I have never seen the need for a woman to change her name on marriage. There is no law that says you have to, although some people assume there is. Indeed in Scotland, it's still a relatively new tradition. I've done a fair bit of family history research, and recall many baptismal records from the early nineteenth century which read something like John Smith, son of Robert Smith and his spouse Mary Stewart was baptised etc. You also see it on gravestones – Mary Stewart, beloved wife of Robert Smith. Civil Registration in the 1850s seems to have been the deciding factor in the change: government bureaucracies always like people being easy to keep track of.

My surname is very rare, and I rather like it, even though I continually have to spell it out to people and they inevitably get it wrong. It's part of who I am. I could hyphenate my name with his but I think that is silly unless both spouses do it and are comfortable doing it. There's also the issue of professional reputation, which is particularly relevant for someone my age.

I had all these arguments and others all lined up when I talked about the subject with Himself recently. He took the wind out my sails by not being bothered at all, which is nice, as a friend of mine said when she had tentatively broached the subject of not changing her name with her then fiancee, he had said she might as well hand the engagement ring back and they could cancel the wedding! I did think that was rather antediluvian. Such a relief to find that Himself, who is fairly conservative in many respects is actually pretty progressive in this regard.

So. I always believe that first posts should be some sort of introduction, even if there's no-one reading, and I very much doubt that there is at the moment. I want to make this a public journal, but at the same time I don't want to provide too much personal information. A contradiction, I hear you cry; surely if I'm going to say anything worthwhile I will have to give away a degree of personal information. Of course, but I'm going to try and limit it to the subject at hand.

The subject at hand is, of course, the rationale for this journal. I am in my fifties and I have recently begun a journey I had (almost) given up all expectation of ever undertaking. Two months ago, my beloved asked me to marry him, and it has had the most extraordinary effect on me. Compared to my usual, practical self, I've turned into a veritable bridezilla: it's quite bizarre.

When I was young, I never had any desire to get married - it was far too conventional a thing, and I was determined not to be conventional. On reflection, it's perhaps just as well that I felt like that, as it made extricating myself from the rather horrible live-in relationship that I had at the time rather easier than it might have been had I married him. After that I dated on and off, but nothing serious until I met my beloved three years ago. And I find that as I have grown older, my attitudes have changed, grown more conservative if you like. I find that I would rather like to be married. Worse still, I find I would rather like to go through the whole girly frill fest. Go figure. So I thought I would chart my experiences, even though it's likely to be some considerable time before we do actually tie the knot, as I think there are some peculiar challenges and considerations to being an older, first time bride.